Afraid of the Dark

My therapist suggested I start this blog.

So, I did. Against every fiber of my being and the deep ache in my bones that was content in bottling up all my emotions until my emotional well overflowed.

I dragged myself out of my comfort zone and decided to start writing again – even if it meant I would be misunderstood. I needed to do something for myself to combat being dragged down back into darkness.

I used to write for a living – newspapers and columns. It has been liberating in a way to write without being anxiety-ridden over if an editor will approve or rewrite the whole thing last minute.

Giving myself a creative outlet has been one of the best gifts I could give myself this year and I will continue to write despite the resistance I feel and the depersonalization that has bubbled to the surface.

For so long, I attached numbers to myself and turned that into my self – worth. How much I made, achieving a higher-level job just because or panicking over my rising age.

None of that shit matters.

That isn’t what makes up a person – as Le Petit Prince says. I feel like an outlier sometimes because when I meet people, I want to know who they ARE, what makes them so beautiful, so captivating. Everyone has a story to tell.

This blog so far has been my story and it isn’t finished…I’m just trying to tap back into my own well of inspiration and ignore the deep ache of loneliness that has seeped into every muscle of my being.

The dark clouds of loneliness may be hovering, but I am choosing to further push past my edge – and take 1,003 deep breaths along the way.

I hope we all continue to take inspiration from our stories and fight against the daily aches that life will sure bring us.

Until Then.

3 thoughts on “Afraid of the Dark

  1. It’s great that you’re sharing your thoughts here, despite the resistance. I too used to write for a living, and having a particularly harsh editor did riddle me with anxiety as well, but it’s also helped me see my work objectively. Anyway, wishing you all the best on this journey!

    Liked by 1 person

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