The Great Conditioning

Who was I before the world got its hands on me? On my body, my mind, my emotions, my self-worth? I feel like I’ve been run through the washing machine 1,347 times and come out a version of myself I don’t recognize 20% of the time. Granted, I give myself immense credit for the versionContinue reading “The Great Conditioning”

Slow Your Own Sacrifice

There’s a story of mine that has gone untold for almost 20 years. A repressed moment that broke through my tender memory while making breakfast. A padded room. I was 14 and the most angry I’ve ever been in my life. I spent time in a padded room when I was 14. No, there aren’tContinue reading “Slow Your Own Sacrifice”

Beneath The Wisdom Of Trees

These days, my favorite moments are spent pressing my body into soft grass and gazing up at the sun that beams down between hundreds of delicate, green leaves. I never meant for it to become a ritual – almost instinctual in how I crave a certain spot, a certain tree to bring me peace andContinue reading “Beneath The Wisdom Of Trees”

Admissions from the Notes App

Puzzle Pieces We are given thousands of puzzle pieces at the start of our lives. It is up to us to attempt to put together, to create something beautiful out of what we’ve been given. The puzzle is never perfect – the pieces may not always fit the way we want them to, but weContinue reading “Admissions from the Notes App”

The Glass Upon Which We Walk

I recently found a part of my past I thought I lost. A simple, vintage perfume bottle. You see, my grandmother used to be an antique dealer. I would visit her as a young child at work. I would climb the old, wood and creek-ridden steps to where she was and get lost among allContinue reading “The Glass Upon Which We Walk”

Isolation Island

Since the pandemic hit, I feel like I’ve created my own island for myself. Where I feel safe, can open the doors to the ghosts that demand attention and heal the parts of myself I long ago buried. You see, we are all haunted by something. Some days we don’t think of it at all.Continue reading “Isolation Island”

Try A Little Tenderness

Sundays always remind me of the promises I made to myself once the work day is done on Friday afternoons. On Fridays, I set all these goals for myself for the weekend. To clean, To do laundry, to prep meals. None of it ever happens. I get lost in stories. Consume the words of poetsContinue reading “Try A Little Tenderness”

At The Golden Gate

At the Golden Gate I remembered. My feet carried me forward, but my mind pulled me back down. Back to you. The way your smile lit up my surroundings and you were the only one I could see. The way your words felt like a soft caress against my skin. How I wanted to breatheContinue reading “At The Golden Gate”

Afraid of the Dark

My therapist suggested I start this blog. So, I did. Against every fiber of my being and the deep ache in my bones that was content in bottling up all my emotions until my emotional well overflowed. I dragged myself out of my comfort zone and decided to start writing again – even if itContinue reading “Afraid of the Dark”

Reality Bites

“Hello, this is Lauren. She’s not here right now, but if you leave your name and your number, she might get back to you.” I had a realization at around 2:45 a.m. Saturday: I’ve been dissociating for at least 4 business days. The situation is delicate and I’ve spent the time since trying to findContinue reading “Reality Bites”