Bruises

Unseen skinreveals all.Soft shapes in shadesof blue and violet. I count the bruiseslike constellations,a reminder of myown mistakesand blunders. Some bruises cannotbe seen at all.Left by thosewho vowedto hold me gently,love softly. Nothing was gentle.Left with hard edges,sharp objectsI knew notto hold. I count the bruiseslike constellations.Everythingfalls.Eventually.

Into the Woods

I stumble.Adrenaline high, spirits low. The fuckening brought mehere.Wrong turns,deep wounds of change. If only I had listened.The sounds I hear nowpropel me forward.There is no going back. Deep roots in the groundwould rather I stay still.Leaves fall to remind methat everything dies.Even dreams. The woods of fatehand me a choice.A kindness.I follow the pathandContinue reading “Into the Woods”

Tick, Tick, Boom

The world is on fire,I search for a new iPhone. Floodwaters at my neighbor’s door,I doomscroll Twitter for hours. December tornadoes on the news,I schedule brunch with friends (no masks). Another Breaking News banner on my TV,I turn off the lights and crawl under the covers. More mandates, mass confusion & supply shortages,I hoard suppliesContinue reading “Tick, Tick, Boom”

The Lost King of Sweet Adventures

One of my favorite games to play as a child was Candy Land. I always had to be the plastic, cartoonish blue gingerbread man. Each card I pulled sent me on an adventure and I marveled over getting to travel to the Lollipop Woods or through the Candy Cane Forest. It was a whimsical fantasyContinue reading “The Lost King of Sweet Adventures”

The Unwitnessed

There are moments at 6:33 a.m. where I’m drinking my matcha latte and watching the sun come up that I wish someone was sitting across from me. Enjoying the moment with me. I’ve lived alone for so long. I am comfortable and enjoy my own company. I don’t feel lonely 95% or the time, butContinue reading “The Unwitnessed”

A Constriction of the Soul

Deep pockets of gloom,anger sits like a sieve on the soil (soul).You are alone in this uncertain place. To acknowledge a life that is broken,seams frayed like the edgesof your forgotten joy,discarded on a shelf 20 years ago.It is time to dig yourself out of this nightmaredisguised as a dream.A dream down a rabbit holeContinue reading “A Constriction of the Soul”

Haunted By Ghosts

I am haunted by ghosts.Different versions of my past selvespopping in, out of my lifeto remind me how far I’ve come. The girl who didn’t want to liveThe girl who felt no one wanted herThe woman who tried to let others know her, but no one really listened.The woman who fell in loveThe woman whoContinue reading “Haunted By Ghosts”

The Hollowness of Being

To fill up our days with meaning with the smell of coffee in the morning and the gentle caress of soft sheets against the skin. To the feeling of dipping your toes in scalding water (a test) before submerging a body so desperate for warmth under the rippling water, wishing it would consume and fillContinue reading “The Hollowness of Being”

The Great Conditioning

Who was I before the world got its hands on me? On my body, my mind, my emotions, my self-worth? I feel like I’ve been run through the washing machine 1,347 times and come out a version of myself I don’t recognize 20% of the time. Granted, I give myself immense credit for the versionContinue reading “The Great Conditioning”

Slow Your Own Sacrifice

There’s a story of mine that has gone untold for almost 20 years. A repressed moment that broke through my tender memory while making breakfast. A padded room. I was 14 and the most angry I’ve ever been in my life. I spent time in a padded room when I was 14. No, there aren’tContinue reading “Slow Your Own Sacrifice”