The Great Conditioning

Who was I before the world got its hands on me? On my body, my mind, my emotions, my self-worth? I feel like I’ve been run through the washing machine 1,347 times and come out a version of myself I don’t recognize 20% of the time. Granted, I give myself immense credit for the versionContinue reading “The Great Conditioning”

Slow Your Own Sacrifice

There’s a story of mine that has gone untold for almost 20 years. A repressed moment that broke through my tender memory while making breakfast. A padded room. I was 14 and the most angry I’ve ever been in my life. I spent time in a padded room when I was 14. No, there aren’tContinue reading “Slow Your Own Sacrifice”

The Glass Upon Which We Walk

I recently found a part of my past I thought I lost. A simple, vintage perfume bottle. You see, my grandmother used to be an antique dealer. I would visit her as a young child at work. I would climb the old, wood and creek-ridden steps to where she was and get lost among allContinue reading “The Glass Upon Which We Walk”

Isolation Island

Since the pandemic hit, I feel like I’ve created my own island for myself. Where I feel safe, can open the doors to the ghosts that demand attention and heal the parts of myself I long ago buried. You see, we are all haunted by something. Some days we don’t think of it at all.Continue reading “Isolation Island”

Afraid of the Dark

My therapist suggested I start this blog. So, I did. Against every fiber of my being and the deep ache in my bones that was content in bottling up all my emotions until my emotional well overflowed. I dragged myself out of my comfort zone and decided to start writing again – even if itContinue reading “Afraid of the Dark”

Reality Bites

“Hello, this is Lauren. She’s not here right now, but if you leave your name and your number, she might get back to you.” I had a realization at around 2:45 a.m. Saturday: I’ve been dissociating for at least 4 business days. The situation is delicate and I’ve spent the time since trying to findContinue reading “Reality Bites”

Hide & Seek

The Full Moon wanted my attention at 3:34 this morning. So, I obeyed and dragged my bleary-eyed self out of bed to the balcony and gave the moon the audience it craved. I watched as the Moon hid behind the clouds for moments and then would shine brightly as if to say thank you forContinue reading “Hide & Seek”

My So-Called Life

There are exactly 39 stairs to my apartment. I take them every day, up and down. Up and down. And what awaits me beyond those 39 steps? A home that some days feels like a sanctuary and others like a prison. A cat will always greet me hello and will demand to be fed –Continue reading “My So-Called Life”

Grocery Store Chronicles

I have a firm belief that Hell exists. And Hell is a grocery store parking lot. Hell is also the checkout line. When you enter the grocery store during peak hours, even though you know better and promise yourself you only need bananas and will be there for 5 minutes. You’re fooling yourself. You willContinue reading “Grocery Store Chronicles”

Consumerism, Baby!

There is nothing quite like the rush of clicking “place order” or swiping your credit card in a store for things we don’t need. We want them. So we buy them. The dopamine hit is short-lived, but glorious. We patiently wait for our goods to arrive or take them home with us, bask over ourContinue reading “Consumerism, Baby!”