Tick, Tick, Boom

The world is on fire,I search for a new iPhone. Floodwaters at my neighbor’s door,I doomscroll Twitter for hours. December tornadoes on the news,I schedule brunch with friends (no masks). Another Breaking News banner on my TV,I turn off the lights and crawl under the covers. More mandates, mass confusion & supply shortages,I hoard suppliesContinue reading “Tick, Tick, Boom”

The Lost King of Sweet Adventures

One of my favorite games to play as a child was Candy Land. I always had to be the plastic, cartoonish blue gingerbread man. Each card I pulled sent me on an adventure and I marveled over getting to travel to the Lollipop Woods or through the Candy Cane Forest. It was a whimsical fantasyContinue reading “The Lost King of Sweet Adventures”

A Constriction of the Soul

Deep pockets of gloom,anger sits like a sieve on the soil (soul).You are alone in this uncertain place. To acknowledge a life that is broken,seams frayed like the edgesof your forgotten joy,discarded on a shelf 20 years ago.It is time to dig yourself out of this nightmaredisguised as a dream.A dream down a rabbit holeContinue reading “A Constriction of the Soul”

Haunted By Ghosts

I am haunted by ghosts.Different versions of my past selvespopping in, out of my lifeto remind me how far I’ve come. The girl who didn’t want to liveThe girl who felt no one wanted herThe woman who tried to let others know her, but no one really listened.The woman who fell in loveThe woman whoContinue reading “Haunted By Ghosts”

The Great Conditioning

Who was I before the world got its hands on me? On my body, my mind, my emotions, my self-worth? I feel like I’ve been run through the washing machine 1,347 times and come out a version of myself I don’t recognize 20% of the time. Granted, I give myself immense credit for the versionContinue reading “The Great Conditioning”

Slow Your Own Sacrifice

There’s a story of mine that has gone untold for almost 20 years. A repressed moment that broke through my tender memory while making breakfast. A padded room. I was 14 and the most angry I’ve ever been in my life. I spent time in a padded room when I was 14. No, there aren’tContinue reading “Slow Your Own Sacrifice”

The Glass Upon Which We Walk

I recently found a part of my past I thought I lost. A simple, vintage perfume bottle. You see, my grandmother used to be an antique dealer. I would visit her as a young child at work. I would climb the old, wood and creek-ridden steps to where she was and get lost among allContinue reading “The Glass Upon Which We Walk”

Isolation Island

Since the pandemic hit, I feel like I’ve created my own island for myself. Where I feel safe, can open the doors to the ghosts that demand attention and heal the parts of myself I long ago buried. You see, we are all haunted by something. Some days we don’t think of it at all.Continue reading “Isolation Island”

Afraid of the Dark

My therapist suggested I start this blog. So, I did. Against every fiber of my being and the deep ache in my bones that was content in bottling up all my emotions until my emotional well overflowed. I dragged myself out of my comfort zone and decided to start writing again – even if itContinue reading “Afraid of the Dark”

Reality Bites

“Hello, this is Lauren. She’s not here right now, but if you leave your name and your number, she might get back to you.” I had a realization at around 2:45 a.m. Saturday: I’ve been dissociating for at least 4 business days. The situation is delicate and I’ve spent the time since trying to findContinue reading “Reality Bites”