Midnight Kids

I once rolled down a hill in a grocery cart. I was willingly pushed by a friend and screamed my head off the whole way down.

It’s a fond memory of days when life seemed full of assurances and endless possibilities. When I was younger, it felt like there were infinite days ahead just like that.

Of days when I would meet my high school friends at the local park at midnight and we’d sit there for hours, just laughing and talking about life – only fleeing if a police car shined its lights on us.

Of countless nights of Frosted Flakes talks on my dorm’s cement floor with my freshmen college roommate. Sharing our secrets, our fears and getting a sugar high. She is still one of my greatest confidants today.

Of spontaneous road trips to Montana on a random Tuesday because we could – singing the whole way and gossiping over the men in our lives who did not treat us very well, but we learned a lot about ourselves through these experiences.

And I’ve learned so much about who I am through the people I’ve surrounded myself with. The people who I’ve known since birth, since kindergarten, since I was 18. They may not have all stayed, but each one made a lasting impact on my life.

A lot of these memories have come back to me lately and I believe it’s for a reason. The midnight shenanigans, the countless risks I took and the bonds I made when I was younger remind me that life is still full of wonder and endless adventures.

I’ve gotten so caught up on where I’m going and worrying about the “next thing” and now life has reminded me that peeking at the past can actually be my greatest teacher.

I am not the same girl I was then nor would I want to be, but I can make a promise to my younger self to say “yes”. Yes to more experiences that light me up, nourish my internal fire and show me the beauty of taking in the present moment.

I’ve exerted far too much of my energy into worrying and I want to proclaim that this next season I step into is more reminiscent of my days of rolling down hills at midnight: Letting go of all my worries and trusting there is a place for me to land at the bottom of everything.

It might hurt like hell, but I’d rather choose the unknown than find 1,457 reasons to not say yes and stay in my comfort zone.

I think it’s time to say yes to a second glass of wine…it’s a start.

Until Then.