The Moody Blues

Watching the rain fall outside my window has to be one of my favorite activities.

I’ve sat here for the past hour, watching the rain drops fall, the cars pass and reflecting on this past weekend and the conversations it brought.

The religious conversation with my sister who was feeling real good after 5 glasses of wine.

A 6-hour phone conversation with a man where we discussed plane tickets, panic attacks, and the alphabet mafia. We were emotionally open with each other and it hasn’t felt that good with him since 2019.

The conversation with my mother about money, inspiration and complicated, familial bonds. Only one of us cried.

A conversation with my teenaged niece about how she will continue to make mistakes in life, but that’s how we learn and what makes life beautiful. That those mistakes don’t make her a terrible person.

So, the weekend was full of more listening and talking than I’ve done in a minute. It was what my soul was craving – true connection with others. Seeing people for who they are and sharing our fears, opinions and laughing through it. All those conversations brought me back to a common theme that has been woven through the framework of my life as of late.

That in order to break open and grow through what we are experiencing and to understand our thoughts – we must listen to ourselves, but also listen to those around us seeking to be understood. We cannot know how to truly love others, unless we are told or given a road map on how to treat them.

The most beautiful gift I was given this weekend was the opportunity to listen and hold space for others. It taught me how to love them better in the ways they need – not what I think they need.

For so long I have avoided having meaningful conversations with my family for fear of judgment or defensively going into the conversation already feeling like I was going to be misunderstood. Instead of becoming defensive, I let the emotions and words unfold and bloom into true emotional intimacy.

And I’m better for it and full of gratitude for this small milestone.

I’m also grateful for this rainy season in my life and outside my window. It has granted me the space to be more still, slow down and appreciate the grey that rolls through and envelops me in a temporary haze. We are always somewhere between the muck and the magic and with each changing season, we are given tiny moments and even bigger opportunities to bloom and open up the spaces within ourselves we padlocked long ago.

A Reminder: Rain or no rain, drinking coffee or decaf, wherever you are in the world, you deserve to unclench your jaw and crack a smile. After all, we’re just a bunch of humans living on a floating rock in space.

Just some moody Monday thoughts.

Until Then.