Bruises

Unseen skinreveals all.Soft shapes in shadesof blue and violet. I count the bruiseslike constellations,a reminder of myown mistakesand blunders. Some bruises cannotbe seen at all.Left by thosewho vowedto hold me gently,love softly. Nothing was gentle.Left with hard edges,sharp objectsI knew notto hold. I count the bruiseslike constellations.Everythingfalls.Eventually.

Option B

All my life, I have been the second choice. The option. The one men choose before their final destination to their forever person. The friend who is called upon when someone’s first choice falls through. I am the reliable one. The wise one. The one who sees through the bullshit and the facade. I amContinue reading “Option B”

Into the Woods

I stumble.Adrenaline high, spirits low. The fuckening brought mehere.Wrong turns,deep wounds of change. If only I had listened.The sounds I hear nowpropel me forward.There is no going back. Deep roots in the groundwould rather I stay still.Leaves fall to remind methat everything dies.Even dreams. The woods of fatehand me a choice.A kindness.I follow the pathandContinue reading “Into the Woods”

When You’re No One’s Favorite Person (Deux)

Watching the snow fall feels different. Your bones are warmedby no one but youand the fire you built. No one is cheering you on.Or offering you a cup of coffeethe way you like. You’re a two sugars plus creamkind of girl who has perfectedthe art of a single brew. There are no guests.You’re touch-starved.Living offContinue reading “When You’re No One’s Favorite Person (Deux)”

Tick, Tick, Boom

The world is on fire,I search for a new iPhone. Floodwaters at my neighbor’s door,I doomscroll Twitter for hours. December tornadoes on the news,I schedule brunch with friends (no masks). Another Breaking News banner on my TV,I turn off the lights and crawl under the covers. More mandates, mass confusion & supply shortages,I hoard suppliesContinue reading “Tick, Tick, Boom”

Mask On, Mask Off

Are we in trouble? No, this is not a post about a global pandemic and the efficacy of masks. This is a matter of showing up authentically versus the forced masking we do to be a cog in the capitalist machine. For many, we may have a “customer service” voice we use when at ourContinue reading “Mask On, Mask Off”

(Not) An Ode to Past Lovers

It has been so long since I have been heldby a man who respects women.I have been in their beds,no sheets, dust settling like a sheen on my body. Men who took.They promised me delicate adoration,but I was left used and pressed into the mattresslike an old flower between the pages of a worn book.Continue reading “(Not) An Ode to Past Lovers”

The Lost King of Sweet Adventures

One of my favorite games to play as a child was Candy Land. I always had to be the plastic, cartoonish blue gingerbread man. Each card I pulled sent me on an adventure and I marveled over getting to travel to the Lollipop Woods or through the Candy Cane Forest. It was a whimsical fantasyContinue reading “The Lost King of Sweet Adventures”

The Unwitnessed

There are moments at 6:33 a.m. where I’m drinking my matcha latte and watching the sun come up that I wish someone was sitting across from me. Enjoying the moment with me. I’ve lived alone for so long. I am comfortable and enjoy my own company. I don’t feel lonely 95% or the time, butContinue reading “The Unwitnessed”

A Constriction of the Soul

Deep pockets of gloom,anger sits like a sieve on the soil (soul).You are alone in this uncertain place. To acknowledge a life that is broken,seams frayed like the edgesof your forgotten joy,discarded on a shelf 20 years ago.It is time to dig yourself out of this nightmaredisguised as a dream.A dream down a rabbit holeContinue reading “A Constriction of the Soul”