Dissociation Avenue

2023 started as hopeful. Like every turn of a new calendar year, it ushered in a spark of hope that our normal will be slightly different than the previous 365 days. Muddling through January into March has shown me that the hopes I have for change feel stagnant, empty. Nothing feels good enough to even

Great Expectations

Reemerging to my very small corner of the internet feels weird. It’s like I have been hiding in a cave for months, to come out of it to find the world has moved on without me; as it always does. Everything is in constant motion, even if time seemed to stand still for me. I

Option B

All my life, I have been the second choice. The option. The one men choose before their final destination to their forever person. The friend who is called upon when someone’s first choice falls through. I am the reliable one. The wise one. The one who sees through the bullshit and the facade. I am

When You’re No One’s Favorite Person (Trois)

The rain thundersagainst your windowlike a warning. A warning tonot fall too deepinto this notionyou’ll be alone.forever. Meals for onebecome a momentfor two.The coffee is madeand brought to youin bed. An embrace beginsto feel likehome.Yet, you stillremember. Remember howyou spent yearsalone, loving yourself.Years alone, makingyour own heart happy. You will continue todo that work,with someonealongside

Into the Woods

I stumble.Adrenaline high, spirits low. The fuckening brought mehere.Wrong turns,deep wounds of change. If only I had listened.The sounds I hear nowpropel me forward.There is no going back. Deep roots in the groundwould rather I stay still.Leaves fall to remind methat everything dies.Even dreams. The woods of fatehand me a choice.A kindness.I follow the pathand

The Lost King of Sweet Adventures

One of my favorite games to play as a child was Candy Land. I always had to be the plastic, cartoonish blue gingerbread man. Each card I pulled sent me on an adventure and I marveled over getting to travel to the Lollipop Woods or through the Candy Cane Forest. It was a whimsical fantasy

Bonds We Build & Break

Lately, early mornings have given me time to spend time appreciating myself more. I’ll read, I’ll write, drink cacao like a ritual and move my body in ceremony to honor another sunrise. This space I’ve carved out for myself also gives me to time to reflect and connect with the people I can still feel.

Slow Your Own Sacrifice

There’s a story of mine that has gone untold for almost 20 years. A repressed moment that broke through my tender memory while making breakfast. A padded room. I was 14 and the most angry I’ve ever been in my life. I spent time in a padded room when I was 14. No, there aren’t

Beneath The Wisdom Of Trees

These days, my favorite moments are spent pressing my body into soft grass and gazing up at the sun that beams down between hundreds of delicate, green leaves. I never meant for it to become a ritual – almost instinctual in how I crave a certain spot, a certain tree to bring me peace and

The Glass Upon Which We Walk

I recently found a part of my past I thought I lost. A simple, vintage perfume bottle. You see, my grandmother used to be an antique dealer. I would visit her as a young child at work. I would climb the old, wood and creek-ridden steps to where she was and get lost among all